Spring Break (Politics Is Funny)

Either a really big rabbit, or a really small man, 04/04/10. (photo: Public domain)

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oday is a holiday - something about how Jesus came out of his tomb and saw the Chocolate Bunny's shadow so the Rapture was postponed for another two thousand years and it's the fault of the Jews so they have to eat bad food and flat bread but they get to drink four big glasses of wine.

Every holiday is the greatest-ever marketing tool because that means Cal Worthington and his dog Spot plus Crazy Eddie have something you absolutely don't need but must have - on sale - at 50% off.

Cool.

Lean On Me is the soundtrack for paper towels, Forever Young sells Pepsi and FDR's speech on fear is a commercial for a giant insurance company.

The Supreme Court gave deference to corporations, which got people very angry as they sipped their soda pop made from artificial flavoring and artificial sweeteners and a slogan - It's The Real Thing.

Damned corporate influence is going to ruin politics.

The Democrats were just so darn upset at those money kids who created the financial mess that they gave them all a time-out. And then told the kids to clean up their mess or else! No more Mr. Nice Democrat for you. No, really. They mean it.

The Tea Party is just plain mad. They're pro-freedom but hate the fact that 53% of America actually voted for the other guy. That's just not how democracy works. America is like Burger King - you're supposed to have it your way.

The Left thought they elected Sidney Poitier.

The Right acts like Richard Pryor got elected.

And the GOP saw someone browner than Boehner enter the White House and immediately knew drugs were involved so they just Say No.

Crazy.

Applied for a job but the man said I had bad credit. I explained I had bad credit because I didn't have a job but if he gave me a job I'd get my good credit back in no time. He said, sorry but I had to have good credit to get the job.

Go figure.

There is a new tax on tanning booths and pale people are really upset. Why should they be taxed to get brown when so many others are lucky enough to be born that way? Life is just not fair. And it's discrimination.

This just in: Healthcare reform turns Ricky Martin... GAY. And that is the first sign of End Times.

What is next? A media that doesn't focus on sex - Tiger - sex - politicians having sex - Tiger - sexting teens - Tiger - sex? If only there was time to cover unemployment, war, poisoned fish and... squirrel!

But every day is April Fools Day at FOX News so shhhhh... don't tell their viewers.

Sometimes it is kind of amazing to sit back and see how much we have in common. Except for our views we are a melting pot nation separated by a common culture.

Warning: War on Easter Joke -

Saul and Esther raised their son, Bernie to be a good Jew and then sent him off to college where he wrote home:

Dear Folks -

I'm having fun and learning a lot. As a matter of fact, I've become a Christian.

Esther was beside herself. How could this happen?

Saul went next door to talk to his neighbor about what to do.

"Abe, you know my son Bernie. You know we raised him to be a good Jew and now he's away from home - he's become a Christian. Oy vey, what do we do?"

Abe said, "Funny you should mention it, same thing happened to my son. You need to talk to the Rabbi."

Saul went to the Rabbi. "Rabbi, you know my son Bernie. We raised him to be good Jew and now he's away from home - he's become a Christian. Oy vey, what do we do?

The Rabbi said, "Funny you should mention it but in the Synagogue same thing, everybody's family. You should pray to God."

Saul goes to the Synagogue and prays to God in his loudest voice: "Dear God in heaven, you gave us our son Bernie. We raised him to be a good Jew but now he's away from home - he's become a Christian. Oy vey, what do we do?"

A big voice out of Heaven says: "Funny you should mention it but the same thing happened to my Son."

See? We're all the same but different.

Merry Easter and Happy Holiday - and to all a good Spring Festivus!