by Barbara Todish   

Sex, for men is a performance "sport" and sex for women is a relationship "sport". No one is being emotionally intimate because there IS no one to BE emotionally intimate with! We have zero emotional intimacy with ourselves, and that is what we bring to others. Everyone will, I'm sure deny this, but just being defensive proves my point: we only exist to perform competitively, comparatively and/or in relationship to others.

Men MAY be slightly closer to risking to transcend performance existence, but they seem to be headed in the direction of "METROSEXUALIY". (This may be a function of the economy, because men may consciously or subconsciously be less willing than ever before to become a "baby daddy", so this may explain the trend of metrosexuality where oral/anal attitudinal preferences are expressed instead of genital preferences. Again, instead of HAVING any of these preferences, the preferences HAVE the metrosexual!) Perhaps if men realized that instead of having intention, (i.,e the intention to have sex,etc.), that their intention HAS them, they might do whatever it took to address the problem, namely of HUMAN self agency. Women, though, are so far from dealing with human self agency, that they first need a relationship in order to be able to deal with even the concept of intention!

Intention and whether we have it or it has us, has been an issue I have been dealing with because I want to free myself from all defensiveness (except, of course from the instinctual and intuitive defensiveness involved in "fight or flight" reactions). Instead of defining myself as a victim, I have come up with a way to be free from any and all victimhood, ego, drama, etc. To do this I theorize that instead of people having intention, agency, will, etc., intention, agency, will, etc., has them! I use this concept especially in my stand up comedy, for instance I will say: I used to think that 4 men raped me, now I know that I was taking what happened to me too seriously, too personally, too egotistically, too dramatically! Now I know that these men had zero intent TO rape me because instead of having their intention, their intention HAD them! Men don't do the rape, the rape (the war, the crime, even thier life) DOES them!

Men only "exist" to PERFORM, they "exist" as a performance ego. Men want to be competitive, comparative in all their waking and even in their sleeping hours (i.e., my dream was better than your dream!lol). Women want to dramatize their relationships because they hardly are allowed, or allow themselves, to have a self TO perform with. Women are only allowed, or only allow themselves, to make IMPRESSIONS on others, they hardly make an IMPRESSION on themselves. Consider listening to what a spontaneous intention communicated to oneself,(stream of consciousness, etc.,)sounds like by copying and pasteing the following into your browser: www.powerplayradiorantz.com
note: after clicking on the website, scroll down to Humanity 101-Humanity 103, (the current 3 episodes), "Listen to Barbara Todish here"